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Incurvatus in se

by Nervous Mervous

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1.
All I hear is noise Drowning out the trail of your voice I live my life haunted I live my life haunted Without you I live my life haunted I live my life haunted Without you here with me Time to change Has come and gone Stuck in this moment I can’t move on I live my life haunted I live my life haunted Without you I live my life haunted I live my life haunted Without you here with me
2.
Run Back 02:32
Run Run back to 15 Run Run back home Get Get what you’ve lost Get Get what you’re owed Run back Run Run back Home Run back Run back Home Go Go back to 97 Go Go back broke Run back Run Run back Home Run back Run back Home
3.
Narnia 02:21
When we were just boys We had big imaginations We played after school We didn’t care that we weren’t cool But then one day we changed The blindfolds fell away You and Me weren’t friends anymore We went our separate ways Oh how I cried At the changing of our world You left me behind Taking with you my peace of mind And on that day I changed My innocence betrayed You and me don’t speak anymore Forever walking away
4.
In my car I don’t give a fuck Windows down and the volume up Got Alice in Chains and Depeche Mode too My life goes on and on and on My life goes on and on and on But I keep listening to the same old song Back of the mall we shared a smoke Marlboro lights and a diet coke If I knew now what I new then My life drags on and on and on My life drags on and on and on But I keep listening to the same old song In that car it meant so much to me In that car is where I wanna be Please take me back I want to go back
5.
Accutane 02:04
I was on accutane Heart on sleeve when did I change We were young and naive Denied our god we felt so free Below the water we couldn’t see The impending tragedies We lost our faith First you then me Tried to fill the void endlessly You and me together You and me forever You and me were wrong Time has past Where did you go What you’ve seen I’ll never know We haven’t spoke In many years A hardened heart replaced the tears Time speeds up And now I’m old You passed away or so I’m told We had it right so long ago I never should have let you go You and me together You and me forever You and me were wrong
6.
His Name Was 03:07
His name was Jay I knew him way back when He was my friend Back when I didn’t have many of them Oooohhhhhhh ohhhh Ooooohhhhhh You were gone way too soon Oooohhhhhhh ohhhh Ooooohhhhhh I still remember you His name was Blake Had a brother looked just like him When the bullies came He stood right beside me Oooohhhhhhh ohhhh Ooooohhhhhh You were gone way too soon Oooohhhhhhh ohhhh Ooooohhhhhh I still remember you His name was Ken He could draw with the best of them In after care Showed me how to be a good friend Oooohhhhhhh ohhhh Ooooohhhhhh You were gone way too soon Oooohhhhhhh ohhhh Ooooohhhhhh I still remember you
7.
I am the aging hipster I am an uptown fixture Going nowhere Feeling nothing Getting older yeah I stand at the altar Of cool An imposture Going nowhere Feeling nothing Getting older yeah
8.
Dazzle me with lights and sounds Keep me under your gaze I’ll be loyal to you On my side for the rest of my days Please please keep me entertained Please please hold me in your gaze Trick me with silicone magic Keep me starved and weak I’ll always return to you The only god that I seek Please please keep me entertained Please please hold me in your gaze Trick me with lights and sounds
9.
My brain is fucked And I don’t know what to do I’m ruined neurochemically without you I’m so fucked And I don’t think I can move Hijack my brain is what you do I can’t get you out of mind It trails me like footprints left behind And I beg you to stop And I beg you
10.
Dry 02:55
I hadn't realized Just how dry I lived A common mistake A lack of perspective I stared at the sun Until I couldn’t see The waves I was feeling Were just sand beneath my feet And I made a mistake Please save me from myself I’m tired of living for no one else And my bullshit has got to stop I woke from my dream And shook off what I’d seen Stubborn in my ways My life went on repeat Please save me from myself I’m tired of living for no one else And my bullshit has got to stop
11.
Doubts remain But faith returns Like light under the door Please please please let me believe Oh please please let me believe Doubt remains But faith finds a way

about

Well, funny enough, the genesis for this batch of songs came out of a first date I went on. My date and I bonded over our shared experience with the same intense acne medication back when we were in high school. That got me thinking about high school and those pivotal experiences.

Additionally, I heard that Metallica was making an album about their youth so I thought, “I should do that too!” Working titles for the album were “Young Damage” and “Former Monster” before I stumbled across the concept of “Incurvatus in se.” You’ll have to google “Incurvatus in se” for yourself, but the gist is that humans tend to be self-absorbed (i.e., curved in on ourselves).

This state of being self-absorbed seemed to encapsulate what I was writing about perfectly. We are all Incurvatus in se. These days I’m just trying to be a little less so.

credits

released May 13, 2023

Off-Pitch Vocals: Thomas
On-Pitch Vocals: Katie
Sloppy Guitars: Thomas
Early-on-the-Beat Bass: Thomas
No-clue-Synths: Thomas
Perfect Drums: Mr. Garageband

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Nervous Mervous Portland, Oregon

Off-Pitch Vocals: Thomas
On-Pitch Vocals: Katie
Sloppy Guitars: Thomas
Early-on-the-Beat Bass: Thomas
No-clue-Synths: Thomas
Perfect Drums: Mr. Garageband

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